Belated decision: Drunk Movie Night! Tonight's feature is Zombeavers. Standard disclaimers apply.
- "You know, I dated a guy once."
- "My friend told me I can't shit in his house anymore."
- Plot point! That's why you should always watch out for deer.
- You know a movie is going to be good when it has someone named "Hutch" in it.
- MD: You picked that from Netflix?!?! The cover looks gross to me so I don't dare touch it lol
- But when there's a guy named Chadwick something or other doing casting, what can you expect?
- MD, I expect it to be thoroughly stupid and hopefully thoroughly entertaining.
- [post about this blog]
- MD: OMG !!!! haha that's classic
- "Umm, they're out of toilet paper. I had to use my hands."
- Somebody had to write this shit. My brain hurts.
- I wonder how writers decide on the population for fictional towns.
- Beavered! Maybe?
- "Go kill some squirrels buddy. Kill 'em good!"
- "Oh. I see."
- Isn't the whole point of a cabin in the middle of nowhere to not have neighbors? Why do they have neighbors?
- "It smells like wood." That's what she said!
- Good question. Why are girls attracted to such assholes?
- From a coverage perspective, that bra is completely useless.
- Boobies!
- Teenage mutant ninja beavers?
- "Here, beaver beaver beaver."
- Da bears.
- "Okay, he's a creeper."
- "I did it by the air, bitch!"
- Okay, that "guy" is definitely setting off the gaydar.
- Archer! What part of this do you not understand? Uh... core concept, I guess.
- It just got more awkward. You were wrong.
- "Oh! I feel like a Power Ranger!"
- That is an angry fucking beaver.
- "That's gnarly." Yes. Yes it is. Zombie beavers are fucking gnarly.
- Pretty sure "safety orgy" isn't a thing.
- The water is not way safer than in the cabin.
- Is that guy seriously wearing a fucking beanie in the water?
- No, that's not blood. It's that other red stuff that appears in the lake after somebody gets their foot bitten off.
- I'm pretty sure that would still be bleeding.
- Jen is where it's safe, because she's not a fucking moron.
- Holy shit, that beaver has hops.
- Hey guys, I'm a beaver! And you're in a cabin made of wood! Which, for some reason, I can't chew through.
- "Oh gimme a break, it's a dog." On the one hand, I can sympathize with him. On the other hand, he's wearing a v-neck, so... probably a douchebag.
- On the other hand, we can chew through trees miles down the road to keep you from getting away.
- He literally just told you what you were going to do.
- Holy shit, that beaver had hops.
- "Yeah. Crazy fuckin' babies."
- "Beavers like to chew on shit."
- "What'ya got there? Sandwich?" "No, it's Buck's foot."
- Wait, where the fuck did he get a chicken leg?
- Oh, the fridge. That makes sense.
- That sounded like a king beaver.
- I think one of these characters is a wannabe Parker Posey.
- Flaming beaver!
- Wait, where did he get the gun from?
- There's the king beaver.
- Windshields are specifically designed to not break like that.
- That poor beaver just got pounded.
- Wait a minute... that was a double-headed axe 30 minutes ago.
- The end!
