Drunken
Movie Night! Tonight's feature: Hobo with a Shotgun. Fair warning,
there may well be swearing and other inappropriateness in the
comments.
- Rutger Hauer!
- Scum Town looks even worse than Detroit.
- Noooo! Not his recycling!
- Never expect mercy from The Drake.
- But he is a shitty fucking weird little animal, so there is that.
- I think I'm going to need more booze for this one.
- Why would a hobo want a lawnmower?
- HG: They dont even have lawns to mow..
- Exactly! But he was looking at it longingly in the window, and his bum sign (where do they get the markers for those) said that's what he needed the cash for.
- That guy didn't really need his head anyways.
- HG: Nobody uses them anyways..
- Lawn mowers, or heads?
- HG: Heads :'D
- That makes a bit more sense. :)
- Holy shit, that's a lot of cocaine.
- HG: Winter came early this year..
- IT'S SNOWING!
- Best pickup line ever? "Are we gonna fuck or what?"
- Citizens arrest!
- HG: That was used in the movie? Did it work?
- "Mother Theresa is a goddam saint!"
- It was used in the movie (by a hooker), but it didn't work... the hobo--who does not yet have a shotgun--laid down the law when the guy tried getting a bit feisty.
- Wait, when did they upgrade/downgrade from Scum Town to Fuck Town?
- Hello, Abby!
- "If a bear's claw were ever to strike your face, it would take your face right off of your skull... and you would die from it."
- I still can't believe Rutger Hauer took this role.
- I feel like there's a Twisted Sister song going through his head right now.
- Not just a regular robbery, but a goddam fucking robbery.
- Go go, hobo! Although I do have to wonder why the Pawn Shop left that shotgun loaded.
- "You. Go home to someone who loves you, right now. And you? You're fucked."
- Delivering justice, one shell at a time.
- "When life gives you razor blades, you make a baseball bat covered in razor blades."
- Holy shit, that guy just one-upped Tonya Harding and killed somebody with an ice skate.
- I could be wrong, but I don't think people actually explode like that.
- Running down a dark alley is always a good idea. Always.
- And I know they don't explode like that.
- "What are you doing?!?!" Obviously not playing any of the Resident Evil games, or he'd be using far less ammo.
- Man, she ran really well in heels.
- Okay, but now he's trying to walk around in the skates. I don't see that working well.
- "I'm gonna wash this blood off... with your blood."
- One of the bad guys reminds me of Tom Cruise, only tall.
- And crispy fried.
- "Please don't shoot my dick off!"
- I can agree with that one... that would suck.
- The Plague is definitely rocking spurs. On a motorcycle.
- Wait... you can't solve all the world's problems with a shotgun?
- Never bring a gun to a sword fight.
- Unless it's a noose-gun, apparently. I don't think you can actually generate enough force with one of those to lift a human body off the ground, though.
- The plot thickens! Now there's a hooker with a shotgun.
- Wait, what the fuck? Is that a giant octopus?
- "I promise you, when I get outta here, I'm gonna bite your face off."
- You know you could've just bashed the window in instead of shooting it, right Abby?
- Dang, she just got awesome.
- Why is that guy making lightsaber sounds when he moves?
- Holy shit, she made a lawnmower shield.
- I'm not sure what it's powered by, but it just fucked the shit out of 1/2 of The Plague.
- And now she just stabbed another guy to death with her wrist bone, after losing her hand.
- Sooo.... wow. That movie was pretty fucked up. I'm glad I had a decent amount of alcohol in me.
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