Drunken
movie night! And because it's been too long (and because it popped up
on Netflix), I'm breaking out "Can't Hardly Wait."
- Timely warning this time! May or may not be some foul language.
- I'm there, you're there, everybody's there.
- Mike Dexter broke up with Amanda Beckett? Zomg!
- I think that guy might've been in PCU.
- Shoes with no socks. Smell bad!
- Holy shit, she eats the same breakfast pastries that I do!
- Women, bro!
- Run home Jack! Run home Jack!
- So this is going back a bit, but how the fuck did he know what flavor her pop tart was?
- 92%, yo!
- "That is a fragrance of love scented candle, bitch!"
- It's our song!
- Why does anybody have a song on that plays Barry Manilow?
- Melissa Joan Hart!
- Turk!
- I wonder if I could rock the upside-down visor? Pretty sure I'm not even going to try.
- "From this light, you somewhat resemble David Duchovny."
- Your mom needs to talk.
- Is it sad that I recognize that song from Pandora?
- Preston is almost as awesome with the ladies as I am.
- "Totally prettier, but with bigger boobs."
- Prettier is good... bigger boobs are contextual.
- She's a witch!
- "Cheetah... rrrrrr....."
- Bullcorn! Might be the expression of the day.
- "You remember that time, when I was about to talk to that beautiful girl, and you came up and started telling me all these asinine stories?"
- "No."
- "That's funny. Because it just happened!"
- "Why you all gotta waste my flavor? Damn!"
- Nobody ordered a Love Burger.
- Is that poop?
- "Damn! She's gon' think I got the premature evacuation."
- "I can't feel my legs. I have no legs!"
- I do know about me.
- "Any words of encouragement?" "Would you like to touch my penis? Eh?"
- The kama sutra just looks painful.
- "I was gettin' my shit ready."
- That dude is wearing a gay shirt.
- "You're not going to tell my parents about this, are you?"
- Maybe he wasn't in PCU... he might just have stoner hair.
- "...and God's just wanting to eat us."
- I hate it when my girlfriend from the internet has a photoshoot in Fiji.
- "Why you gots'ta be such a ragin' bitch all the time?"
- Barry Manilow! Was your song really about a dog?
- Jenna Elfman! As an angel!
- Do angels wear bras?
- "Oh, I'm a weirdo? You're the one calling Barry Manilow from a phone booth at 2am."
- Is it just me, or does anybody else walk like a raptor when they're drunk?
- "Sheep! You are all sheep. Baaaa! Baaaaa!"
- "You call Barry Manilow, and you tell him how you feel."
- Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
- No, your retainer does not look like a Klingon warship.
- "Are you gonna move or not? Cause I gotta go."
- It's okay, I told Diane something-or-other that you were a dendropheliac.
- Jerry O'Connell! I need to add Sliders to my list of things to watch back through.
- "College chicks are different, bro. They all talk about serious issues and shit."
- ^^Semi-true shit.
- His hair is kinda brown. He's sorta tall. And he sometimes wears t-shirts.
- Jason Segel! As watermelon guy.
- Oh no she di'int!
- "I'll kick everyone's ass in this room!"
- "I just saw what happened, and... oh God, you're a hottie!"
- That might actually be the perfect soundtrack.
- According to this movie, every high schooler is a bigger slut/man whore than I am. Not surprising. Also, let's face it... that doesn't take much.
- Pretty sure you wouldn't hit them from that angle jumping off the roof.
- Go go, random klepto dude!
- Awwwkwaaaard....
- "My shit coulda been slammin' with somebody else"
- I'm gonna take you by the hand, and make you understand, Amanda....
- I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize, Amanda....
- Pretty sure that wasn't Manilow.
- Knowing who you weren't meant to be with is useful information too.
- "You know it would've been cool to make out with her though."
- Okay, now he's more talented than I am.
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