DMN 05/25/2013 - Tomb Raider

Drunken movie time! Tonight's feature: Tomb Raider.

• Fair warning: there may be some foul language in the comments.
• Pretty sure you're not actually stronger than a robot.
• Or strong enough to haul it around the house, for that matter.
• Rimmer!
• Hey, that's Delerium on the soundtrack!
• It's Venice! I've been there!
• Ser Jorah!
• And holy crap, is that a Lannister?
• LW: Put down the whiskey ;) ....
• Nope, false alarm.
• Also LW, I've barely had any of the whiskey yet. Just getting started! :)
• Good thing it isn't the 15th IRL.
• JS: at least this is all contained in one status update. if they were all separate updates, I'd have to unfriend you
• Yeah, I'm considerate like that.
• JS: i appreciate it
• It's a syzygy! Which for some reason I always thought involved more planets.
• Pretty sure they stole the ticking sound from Edgar Allen Poe.
• Because it's easy to sleep with robots crawling all over you.
• "Must be one of them ticking clocks, eh?"
• You swing a hammer like a girl!
• Tower Bridge! I've been there too!
• Bond? James Bond?
• Ha! No false alarm that time... Daniel Craig is definitely in the movie.
• The Triangle of Light? Sounds like the Triforce.
• RIP, Angelina Jolie's bosoms.
• On which note, I'm glad this movie is streaming now. Last time I searched for it, all that came up was Womb Raider, which I decided to pass on.
• Your ignorance amuses me too.
• Why is there daylight coming in through the skylights when it's night outside?
• Damn. That is the weakest stone balustrade I've ever seen.
• Also, these guys must've taken marksmanship training at the same place that all the Stormtroopers did.
• I really hope somebody gets bored enough to read through these.
• Pretty sure your insurance isn't going to cover you jumping off of one car on a motorcycle and blowing the shit out of some others with an Uzi. Mac-10? Some sort of sub machine gun.
• If your knife was that loose in the sheath, it would definitely fall out.
• So some great ancient city was destroyed because they abused the Triangle of Light's power to control time. Question: why the fuck didn't they just travel back in time to avoid that?
• Follow the butterflies! They always know the way.
• Hooray! We just destroyed part of our culture's history! Dumbest natives evar.
• Following creepy little kids is generally not a good idea.
• CE: im reading
• Okay, really? Her hands would be seriously fucked up trying to catch herself on that root.
• Man, that looked a lot like one of the Gurubashi trolls.
• I don't think you quite understand how physics work.
• Remember when these visual effects were awesome?
• Meat shield!
• Oh shit, boss fight!
• And DPS is drawing aggro. Womp womp.
• Diving off a giant waterfall: good idea or bad idea? You decide!
• English is pretty awesome, but why is a Cambodian monk speaking it?
• Magic tea! I need some of that.
• I wear my sunglasses inside.
• "Me bum's gone asleep again. All down the left cheek."
• Creepy little kid #2.
• Very practical outfit for a frozen wasteland. Oh wait, no it isn't.
• Dear ice wall: you exploded the wrong way. You know, just FYI.
• That looks kind of like Aughra's Great Contraption.
• CE: still reading
• "It's a time storm. Time is broken here." How the hell would you have any reference for that?
• These guys are failing as Ninja Warriors.
• You can tell this is from before The Incredibles, because the bad guy was stupid enough to monologue.
• Wait, what is he caught on?
• And more importantly, why isn't it just lopping him in half like it did to those other guys?
• It's a wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey sort of thing.
• She has the biggest. Puffiest. Lips.
• Fake slo-mo fail. Slowing the frame rate doesn't count.
• Turning a knife around won't make it fly the other way, it'll just mean the guy gets hit with the hilt instead of the blade.
• Oh no, head bad guy got stabbed in the shoulder! I guess the rest of us are just going to take off. Later dude.
• Bad guy #2 (who was really the main bad guy all along) got caught doing the knife-twirling equivalent of a monologue, and got burie dfor his troubles.
• The end! And time for bed. I feel like this was more entertaining last time I did it, but that may have had to do with the movie choice as well. Oh well.
• CE: "And more importantly, why isn't it just lopping him in half like it did to those other guys?" it was dull
• PR: This was awesome